Lame Brain..

You think you're good.. but its never really been tested..
its just .. simple wishful thinking..
we all have a "idea" of ourselves..
man.. for this assignment.. its nothing more than 10 color pictures..
most people turn in 3 or 4..
the idea is the put some tones on the picture and "find" a composition..
well, good old me.. just can't leave it alone..
I have to have it my way and this is the crappy results.. more like I have no ideas..
not because I didn't put time into it.. but I was so stuck on what I "think" I wanted..
instead of "exploring" the posibilities..
still thinking too much in terms of lines.. and aways thinking it should be this and that..
I'm pretty pissed and mad at myself.. I don't want to fall behind my classmates..
at least 2 to 5 of them are really good..
I hope this be the last of my crappy "style"..
I'm thinking too simple of design..
only way to get better is mileage..
just keep making them pictures son..!

New directions..

So.. basically from now on.. I'm going to be posting my Works in Progress here..
and when and if I'm ever satisfy.. I'll post it on a portfolio blog.. then a website down the line..
here's some stuff from environment design and digital painting..

This was to show different time of day on a environment..
and this is a design for a creature.. w/ the influences..
overall... classes been great..! great teachers working in the industry..
a little behind of homework.. but will post more soon..

Daily (Stupid) walks to Starbucks..

The main event after the morning routine is getting out and getting coffee in the morning..
since my kitchen is out doors I'm not too comfortable making coffee, yet.. especially since its been hot and the ants are all over the place.. (ants on my dish of broccoli..! Ack).. from the house its one long block to the edge of the shopping center.. overall I think its about half a mile to the actual starbucks.. so half mile there, half mile back its ok.. being here myself its human nature to be part of a group.. and everyday I see pretty much the same group there a fifty something chinese guy and a thirty something white guy.. that starbucks is pretty much their office for wheeling and dealing.. I'm pretty sure both of them are unemployed.. thank god one of my class starts today..! otherwise I'll be joining their group..! haha.. starbuck club..!
Overall, its good to be down here.. its all attitude really to get things done..
now have no excuse like wife or dogs or families around me.. now its really facing my own demons.. laziness, procrastinations.. etc.. its going to be a hard challenge..

All is well in East East LA..

Yup, the journey has begun..
moved down to Monterey Park since Saturday..
great deal on a room..
cheap rent and only 3 blocks away from East LA community college.. haha..
only got 3 classes.. hope to add two more.. we'll see..
settled in pretty well, my tabletpc is working ok w/ the Cintiq..
did took an hr to fix it.. still not sure about the pen problem..
got internet!! just bought some groceries today..
so things looks pretty good..
now, just get down to business of building a portfolio..
will post more..

Yup.. I'm Officially old..

Had my Birthday yesterday..
don't want to mention my age anymore..
but its over the hill..! hahaha.. Sigh..
nice steak dinner and a nice Birthday cake..
yes.. notice there are no numbers on it..
and yes! the strawberries are actually that big..!
there's a quarter on the bottom of the cake for reference..
chocolate cake w/ chocolate mouse.. by the way..

Letting go..

The past Can't be changed..
Otherwise, you'll only see a Grey concrete wall in front of you..
Dwell all I want on the bad stuff in the past on how to change it..
it doesn't change the present and it definitely doesn't build toward anything in the future..

Back to step one..

: have fun and enjoy what you want to do..
isolation = bad..
what can I say.. going to turn the "Big" 40 in a little more than two weeks and I just felt I haven't got anything to show for my life. "So you still don't have a job" grin my crappy piece of shit dad.. yea.. like you are any better, dad..! just a blind little life long worker bee w/ no ambitions and retired, and totally dependent on his kids to help on just about every little things.. Just don't want to turn out like that.. its just like a bad poker game when you have to show hands.. so much to do, so little time, so overwhelming.. I've been avoiding my high school friends for the last ten years simply because my life is not settle like theirs.. there always seem to be someone around me that needs my help and detour my time.. I even avoided my friend last weekend.. Sorry Lori..! just don't want to show my face.. got nothing done, got nothing to show, and got nothing to report.. just the same old crap of my little dad waste my emotional time.. Jonard..! Great timing on our little chat.. just came when I needed the motivations.. you said some stuff that I really don't want to hear but have to face it..
just have to start by eating more than one meal a day.. really it was getting to me.. no real short term memories what so ever.. if I don't have my health, I have nothing.. Yes, no-one is stopping me from pursuing my dreams.. nothing is stopping me from taking actions.. my hands are not tied(just like my little speech in my class, never thought I'll be on the receiving end).. time to get out of this zombie life..

here's a little quick drawing I did on my wife phone.. no undo-s.. lol.. a nice cleanup in painter.. picture of my second dog cookie.. always the happy little dog..

this will be a start..